The Warriors Journey House: Grief and Pleasure, Loss and Love Within the 4th Quarter of Life


In 1994, my e book, The Warrior’s Journey House: Therapeutic Males, Therapeutic the Planet, was printed. In it I quoted meditation grasp Chögyam Trungpa,

“Warriorship right here doesn’t refer to creating battle on others. Aggression is the supply of our issues, not the answer. Right here the phrase ‘warrior’ is taken from the Tibetan pawo which accurately means ‘one who’s courageous.’ Warriorship on this context is the custom of human bravery, or the custom of fearlessness. Warriorship just isn’t being afraid of who you might be.”

On the time I wrote the e book, I used to be very a lot involved concerning the state of males and wellbeing of the planet all of us share. I’m much more involved immediately. However I might be 80 later this yr and the grief, pleasure, loss, and love I felt then concerning the state of the world, has a extra private dimension lately.

In earlier articles I talked about my spouse’s fall, her hip substitute surgical procedure, subsequent stroke, and the caretaking that has challenged us on this “4th quarter of our lives.”

I imagine it was Bette Davis who mentioned, “Outdated age ain’t no place for sissies!” As we face the tip of our lives and should take care of incapacity, discomfort, and illness, it requires us to faucet into our true warrior spirit.

            My spouse, Carlin, and I met in 1980 at Aikido Tamalpais in Mill Valley, California. We had been each college students of Aikido and our instructors, Wendy Palmer, George Leonard, and Richard Strozzi-Heckler taught us lots of what it meant to be a warrior within the custom of Aikido founder Morihei Ueshiba.

In the midst of his lengthy and distinguished profession, Richard skilled Inexperienced Berets and wrote a e book, In Search of the Warrior Spirit. He mentioned,

“the normal warrior virtues of braveness, loyalty, selflessness, service, and guardianship had been most likely first enacted by hunter warriors as they stalked and killed recreation, protected their clans from predatory animals or looting bands, and even participated in ritual ‘battle.’”

In her e book, Who Do We Select to Be? Dealing with Actuality, Claiming Management, Restoring Sanity, Margaret Wheatley wrote,

The Warrior’s come up when the folks want safety. The human spirit wants safety. Could the Warrior’s come up.”

Clearly we’d like this type of warrior spirit to take care of our personal getting old and caretaking for these we love. We additionally want this type of warriorship to deal successfully with the difficult dealing with women and men on the earth immediately.

Frederick Marx: Warrior for the Human Spirit

            Frederick Marx is a real warrior for the human spirit. He’s the founding father of Warrior Movies which, says Frederick, “conjures up wanted social change by telling compelling tales highlighting transformational options.” He’s additionally an Academy and Emmy nominated filmmaker and has labored for 45 years within the movie and tv enterprise.

            I first met Frederick following the discharge of his 1994 documentary, “Hoop Goals,” one of the acclaimed and profitable documentaries of all time. The movie goes into the  coronary heart of the male spirit for fulfillment. He tells the story of Arthur Agee, William Gates, and their households over a four-and-a-half-year interval, masking the boys’ whole highschool careers as they pursue the elusive dream {of professional} basketball success.

            Frederick can also be an creator. In his e book, Rites to a Good Life: On a regular basis Rituals of Therapeutic and Transformation, he says,

“I believe the best crime of the final two centuries has been the numerous tens of millions of youngsters who’ve been introduced into the world however by no means taught to find their distinctive objective on this life.”

He goes on to say,

“There are a minimal of seven key passages within the common particular person’s regular human lifespan:

  1. Delivery
  2. Child to childhood
  3. Childhood to puberty
  4. Adolescence to younger maturity
  5. Younger maturity to center age (typically outlined by parenting)
  6. Center age to Elderhood
  7. Eldership to loss of life.

He talks personally concerning the 7th stage of life in his highly effective e book, At Loss of life Do Us Half: A Grieving Widower Heals After Dropping his Spouse to Breast Most cancers. Within the e book he recounts his grief after his spouse died, in addition to his lifelong emotional struggles. In reviewing the e book, Kirkus Evaluations highlights the facility of the e book to explain this final transition in life together with  Frederick’s private story:

“When the creator was 9 years previous, his father immediately died. It was a traumatic encounter with mortality that might hang-out Marx for the remainder of his life. He was tormented by ideas of suicide; his teenage years had been marked by rebel, and on the age of 16, he left dwelling to stay communally with buddies. He married in 2003, when he was 47 years previous, and was pressured to lastly make his peace with the idea of loss of life when his spouse died in 2016 after a protracted wrestle with most cancers.”

Frederick can also be a founding member the Moonshot for Mankind and Humanity and featured within the forthcoming e book, Lengthy Stay Males! The Moonshot Mission to Heal Males, Shut the Lifespan Hole, and Supply Hope to Humanity.  Right here are some things he shares within the e book:  

“Someway portion of my grownup life has been dedicated to advocating for the initiation and mentorship of younger folks, particularly boys. That journey started at age 9 when my father died and my uncle instructed me I used to be now the person of the home.

“On the way in which to my dad’s funeral, I walked to the automotive with my dad’s youthful brother—the person who at ten was led by my fifteen-year-old father out of the rioting metropolis of Frankfurt following Kristallnacht to the care of Dutch refugee officers, who spent these subsequent twelve months, because the battle started, residing with a Dutch farm household, solely to be fetched by their half-dead father who someway managed to flee Buchenwald to assert his boys and spirit them throughout the Atlantic on one of many final ocean liners to make the voyage to NYC in January, 1940. My uncle put his hand on my bony shoulder and mentioned, ‘Effectively Freddy, you’re the person of the home now.’

“These days we snort on the inappropriateness of such statements. Perhaps at the back of his thoughts he was serious about what he would have completed if my father hadn’t been there to save lots of his life. However his phrases didn’t appear inappropriate to me. I wished to be that man, to look after my mom, older sister, and youthful brother. I wished to stay as much as that duty.

“I assumed my father’s loss of life and my uncle’s recognition someway mixed to anoint me a person. It will be a few years earlier than I understood the vanity of that. I used to be no extra a person than my sister or brother or mom. However that second planted a seed in me, one that might proceed germinating all through my lifetime. Methods to grow to be that man of integrity and honor I yearned to be? Methods to maintain duty for the well-being of these I like?

“That’s why I joined this moonshot mission. Over time I’ve discovered good solutions to these questions, however I’m nonetheless reaching for pathways to carry a few of this accrued knowledge to society’s foremost stage. That’s why I made the TV miniseries Boys to Males? together with different movies that look at the problem of males’s maturation, and that’s why I wrote the e book Rites to a Good Life with a chapter titled ‘The Mature Masculine.’

“Like Jed and the opposite members of this completed crew, I purpose to offer a number of the instruments to allow folks in all places to achieve for their very own human transformation and to assist in assist of males in all places.

“My easy, albeit formidable, prayer is that male teenagers worldwide get initiated and mentored into maturity. To assist get us there, I envision hundreds of males’s organizations worldwide partnering with us to signal and promote a easy 5-Level Males’s Wellness Vow:

  • I’ll stay wholesome in thoughts and physique.
  • I’ll nourish and develop my emotional consciousness.
  • I’ll grow to be aware of my inside darkness and by no means hurt one other man, girl, or baby.
  • I’ll ask for assist and attempt to stay cooperatively, not competitively, with males.
  • I’ll grow to be one of the best man I might be, residing with honor and pleasure in my masculinity.

“Our aim? 100 million males signatories!”

 You possibly can attain Frederick at If you need to learn extra articles about therapeutic males, you might be invited to subscribe to our weekly, free, e-newsletter.


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